It kills me to say it but… almost nothing about Universal Juveniles resonates with me. The music, Rush’s cameo, Kim hanging to the left on the cover art… What the heck? Why did he think we wanted to see his meat and veg? Maybe he was trying to distract us from the skullet.
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The World Of Giants – B
Eddie Van Halen’s influence knew no bounds. It even found a way to creep into the mighty Max Webster as Kim noodles on the fretboard. The fast licks and artificial harmonics are cool but also get in the way of the song.
Check– A+
There is a straight-up guitar-driven rocker on this album that kicks balls, and this is it. Their heaviest song since Hangover. I bow to it.
April In Toledo – B
Some good funk here in the verses and the double bass drum in the middle is fun. I want to give this an A+ when I hear it. Then I listen to the chorus and want to give it a C-.
Juveniles Don’t Stop – C-
This has to be Kim’s worst vocal melody ever. Juveniles, please stop.
Battle Scar – B-
This monster tune features the members of RUSH, Geddy, Alex, and The Professor playing alongside Kim. It is fun to hear them together but the song is dull.
I do like the artwork on the inner sleeve. Almost Rob Zombie before Rob Zombie.
Chalkers – B-
Bass player Dave Myles gets a writing credit for this one. It has some good bits but they don’t mesh together all that well.
Drive and Desire – C+
The intro sounds as if we’re about to get some classic Webster prog but delivers something that isn’t fun to listen to.
Blue River Liquor Shine – C
I think this is as close as Webster ever got to an ’80s power ballad. Maybe I’d be in the mood if I was drunk at the campfire with my acoustic and forgot the chords to Hey Joe.
What Do You Do With The Urge – D-
The chorus sound as if it was written by Spinal Tap. The rest is a mishmash of bad ideas.
Cry Out Your Life – D
The good thing about this song is how the album is almost over. Kim’s solo is OK but it goes on for too long.
If you’re reading this and are a fan of Universal Juveniles, I envy you. To me, it sounds like the band was shifting away from prog and closer to uninspired ’80s rock. Calling it an end here might have been a blessing in disguise before it could get any worse. Find Check on 45 single and call it a day.
1.5/5
Check these out!
Get your maximum amount of Webster right here:
Max Webster
High Class In Borrowed Shoes
Mutiny Up My Sleeve
A Million Vacations
Live Magnetic Air
Universal Juveniles
Diamonds Diamonds
The Party (Box Set)
Canadian Grooves 
My first Max and one of the hardest Max to digest.
Martin once called it cold like the winter that spawned it.
I do think it grows over the years.
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That Martin guy has a way with the words! You might be right. I do tend to become more tolerate of things over time. You should have read what I had to say when I first heard it about 5 years ago, lol
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Thank goodness I’m not crazy because I really hated this one. You guys talk so much about them that I thought I was nuts for not liking them, but this was not a great intro the band for me. It only was because it was in a box of albums I got from my brother in law and I think the only reason he had was because of the Rush connection on that one song.
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Nope, not crazy at all. Apparently, Mr. Popoff didn’t like it either. So there are three of us! It is as if someone introduced you to G’NR with The Sphagetti Incident. I’d recommend High Class In Borrowed Shoes. It has a lot more more prog and my personal fav.
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That cover says it all. I’m sure the other guys in the band didn’t like Kim just being on the cover as if someone was discovering these guys back at the time would think the dude on the covers name is Max Webster!
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Geez, I didn’t even think of that. Well, considering all of the turmoil happening at this point, I think Kim was the only stable member of the group, lol
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